Driveway book signing and wine tasting event scheduled for September 17

You are invited to the Ordinary People Who Aren't: An Anthology Driveway Book Signing / Wine Tasting event on Saturday September 17, 2016 from 1:00 p - 5:00 p to be held at:

3317 W. 68th Street
Mission Hills, KS 66208

p.a. I'll play a few banjo tunes in the event there is a lull in book signing activities.

Ben and Deb's NYC Wedding

In case you’ve an interest in my write-up on Ben and Deb’s wedding on July 2nd, 2016 in NYC, read on.

Chuck

Ben and Deb's Wedding

July 2, 2016

New York City

Friday afternoon, Ben and Deb hosted a tea service at a large suite they reserved at the Andaz Hotel.  The soon-to-be newlyweds followed a Chinese tradition and honored their elders.  Deb wore a beautiful red dress. Ben wore a conservative suit. They knelt before each of the elders in attendance starting with the bride's family in order of age, parents, god parents, and aunts and uncles, then siblings.  Then it was the groom's family.  Ben and Deb served each person tea, knelt, shared hugs, and then received red envelopes in return, presumably holding cash.  It was very simple, yet elegant.

Judy and I hosted a rehearsal dinner for 120 people on Friday night at the Amazing 66 Restaurant in Chinatown. We occupied the entire restaurant for the occasion, and the room size and ambiance was perfect.  We were seated at large round tables. Servers centered the first of what would be 18 different dishes on a lazy Susan, and the feast began.  The first course featured jellyfish, crispy shrimp, and two unidentifiable but delectable items.  Subsequent courses offered duck, pork, chicken, sweet and sour lobster, shrimp, noodles, soup, rice, et al.  Few of us realized that the generous courses would be never ending, making it difficult to pace oneself.  Copious quantities of wine and spirits added to the convivial mood.

The highlight of the evening occurred after dinner.  I rose to make introductions, at least of the people I knew. Given that people had traveled from Portland, Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Colorado, Kansas City, Chapel Hill, St. Augustine, Springfield (MO), Knoxville, Akron, Columbus, and New Jersey, I felt it incumbent to acknowledge their presence. The crowd was split evenly between Asians and Occidentals.  I would subsequently meet some of Deb's friends from family, work, high school, and college with origins from Burma, China, Taiwan, and Korea.  Three of Ben's law school classmates were from India adding to the mix.

We were reunited with many of Ben's classmates from Michigan Law with whom we became friendly during the three years of visits to Ann Arbor.  Ben introduced me to a friend with roots in Taiwan who happens to be an avid Royals fan.  It was great fun, sharing memories of old times with friends from various stages of Ben's life and meeting Deb's family and friends.

After introductions, I began a story about Ben. I described one weekend in June 1989 that bespoke volumes about his spirit and joie d'vivre. Early in my speechifying, 7-year-old granddaughter, Waverly, boldly walked up to me, stood on the chair behind which I was standing, and faced the audience.  Having heard some of the family-lore stories before, she proceeded to deliver all of the punch lines with a roll of her eyes and a deadpan face. Gracie Allen would not have been funnier. It was totally unexpected and unrehearsed, yet brilliant. Ben skillfully interrupted my meanderings and added his welcoming comments and toasts, bringing the festive evening to a close.

 The next morning Ben and I transported various items to the site of the reception, India House.  I was then enlisted to tie the bow ties for the groomsmen, and then we killed time awaiting the 5:00 ceremony by shredding rosebuds into rose pedals.

The actual wedding was held at the Elevated Acre, a small park overlooking the East River just south of the Brooklyn Bridge.  Chairs were set up on a patch of grass and the weather was perfect, about 80 degrees and sunny.  Judy and I were part of a wedding procession that walked out of a nearby building, along a walkway onto the grassy seating area.  The last to enter were the ring bearers (Charlie and Finn), the flower girls (Waverly and Arabella, Deb's niece), Deb's parents, and then Deb.

Charlie and Finn wore seersucker suits, with short pants, white dress shirts, vests, and white buck shoes.  The only distinguishing characteristic was that Charlie wore a bow tie and Finn wore a regular one. While waiting for their entry, they wrestled and rolled around on the floor.  Lucy stayed with them until the last moment hoping to keep their shirts tucked in and mildly presentable. They looked very sharp when their time came to walk down the aisle holding ring-bearing pillows.  Waverly and Arabella scattered rose petals from their baskets in advance of the bride and her parents.

Yes! The bride looked beautiful, and yes she wore a beautiful white gown with a long train. The service was short and sweet.  A nearby busy heliport added an urban accent to the sound track. At the conclusion, the wedding party shot a selfie.  Ben and Deb walked semi-somberly down the aisle as man and wife for a few steps, then the song Hey Baby by DJ Otzi (a remake of the 60's classic by Bruce Channel) blasted out from the speakers, and the newlyweds danced the remainder of the way to the very upbeat tune.  The remainder of the wedding party followed them in the same cheery fashion setting a festive and light-hearted tone for the fun that would follow.

Tables were set up on the walkway overlooking the river offering heavy hors d'oeuvres and a full bar.  The photographer began taking pictures with the bride and groom with every imaginable combination of the 145 celebrants. Those not being photographed enjoyed the food and spirits and the stunning views of the Brooklyn and Manhattan Bridges, the downtown Brooklyn skyline, and Southport, all framed by the giant Wall Street buildings surrounding the venue.

Then the staff informed all it was time to walk one block to the India House where the reception would begin.  India House was once a men's club built in 1856 catering to those who worked in enterprises that traded in the Far East.  It provided an elegant setting.

Guests were seated at their assigned tables, and the partying renewed.  Stephen, one of the groomsmen danced snappily into the room with a dance mindful of a male stripper.  Louis, the best man and a large man, carried Diana (Deb's sister) on his back whilst dancing. The remainder of the wedding party boogied onto the dance floor and quickly made way for the bride and groom.  Ben and Deb were introduced, and they entertained with a choreographed dance to an upbeat tune. 

Then the first course of the sit down dinner was served.  Dancing resumed for a bit, then the second course, and so on.  The music was perfect and virtually everyone was pulled to the dance floor.  My award for the best dancer goes to 6'6" Gunnar Hand, from LA.  Gunnar used his height with the skill of Tommy Tune to entertain and amaze. The pattern of dancing between courses continued until the wedding cake arrived.  It was possibly the best wedding cake I've ever tasted, white with white icing and an abundance of imbedded sugared strawberries.

After dinner I asked Ben's friend, Stephen, if he had once been a Chippendale dancer. He replied with nary a moments hesitation, "How would one such as you be familiar with such an act? Hmmm?"  

The best man and maid of honor presented their toasts, all good.  My favorite line occurred when Louis Rigolosi described how he and Ben met in second grade.  On one occasion their teacher gave a spelling test and offered a bonus question; who could spell Louis' last name.  Ben got it correct, but Louis didn't. Louis said that was one of their first bonding moments.

The grand finale for the wedding occurred when all the guests were ushered out to Hanover Square, a small park across the street from the India House.  We were given giant sparklers.  They were lit and held aloft along a winding path like swords forming a flaming arch through which the bride and groom ran.

And that was that.  At least for those of us in the later stretches of life.  The young people journeyed to a bar named Ulysses.  From the perspective of the father of the groom, the wedding was perfect in every way. May the marriage be as well.

p.s. The wedding party was staying at the Andaz, located in the financial district, and our room served as a staging area for the multitude of items needed for the wedding and reception, both located nearby.  Each cab/Uber ride was predictably terrifying yet tortoise-like.  The most memorable was a round trip from the hotel back to Ben's Brooklyn apartment to pick up a load.  En route we crossed the Williamsburg Bridge and passed a self-contained crane motoring around 30 mph.  We were passing on an inside lane within inches of the giant Richard Scary-type vehicle when I heard a loud bang. Upon regaining my senses, it appeared that the crane had swung over and hit one of the bridge girders. I saw the offending vehicle recede in the rear view mirror as we motored on.

I have often heard lovers of New York City claim with apodictic certainty, "Everything is so fast paced. You can just feel the energy." However, I am fairly certain that no one following that crane on that bridge on that day would enjoy a fast pace.

p.s.s.  Thanks to Ben’s uncle, Doug Cadle, for these photos which is a sampling of those he posted on Facebook.